Siriusly! You Just Don't Get It.

For over 20 years I have been a fan of the Howard Stern Show. Following the show wherever I could pick up a signal and when he moved to Sirius satellite radio I was the first in line to get a new one. Anyone who listens to the show on a regular basis gets it. Everyday you get to sit in with a group and have honest discussions about pop culture, news, politics, bowel movements, women or physical ailments. What you get is honest discussions and opinions that aren't held back. When his contract is up at the end of this year there is going to be a huge void in world of entertainment. The honesty that is on the show is null and void anywhere else. Every other show is fake people, acting fake and sugar coating every situation. No one says what they think and that is why they are so forgettable. Two things happened today in the Stern world the first being the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant. The second being the backlash over the comments made about 26 year old Gabourey Sadibe.

Let's take care of Tiger first. It's amazing in this day and age not one reporter broke the story about Tiger and his fooling around. Every sports reporter acted shocked about the news. This is another show of fake news people lying to themselves and lying to the public. They all are afraid to speak the truth. Then the women get labeled and stereotyped all together. Today everyone got to learn a little bit more about Tiger and some of the girls he was involved with. Stern's master interviewing skills brought out the human element in each of these ladies that no other interviewer would dare to compare.

Now let's discuss the Precious comments that seem to upset so many. I will agree that the comments were somewhat harsh, but if you are familiar with the show you would understand that you are sitting in on honest conversation. Why isn't blame placed on the lazy reporters who can't do their own investigating have to take something said on the Stern show and offer it up as news. People are only upset because making comments of overweight people isn't acceptable. Is someone acts crazy and obviously needs help the world feels free to talk openly about such and such acting weird or crazy. For example Gary Busey or Joaquin Phoenix. If someone needs help and has a problem mentally people will speak up. But a topic such as weight is unacceptable.

The USA is plagued with obesity problems and a food industry that is poisoning our society. Diabetes, food allergies, cancer are due to the food that we eat. When asked what she was doing after the awards Gabourey said she was going to get something to eat at Chic-fil-A. If we ignore the problem and fail to state the obvious what will the media say when she drops dead with a big chicken nugget in her heart.

wHat MAkes yOu sO sPEciAL?

Why is it that in most cases capital letters are only used at the beginning of a sentence?  Or if the word is really important like a state or a name of something?  Are the other words in the sentence not as important as the first word?  I prefer to capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence.  Some might complain about having to push the shift key too much.  Others think they won't know when a new sentence begins if there were too many capitals.  Isn't that what a period is for?  Now there is this new thing with the iPhone.  I is usually capitalized, because our Ego's are so big that we need to capitalize I.  The iPhone makes the first letter small and the second letter big.  Do they know something that we don't know?  Then if someone doesn't use any capitals at all they look really lazy.  For example:  johnny and susan came over for christmas and drove all the way from texas i had a great time.  It seems all the rules for punctuation have been thrown out the window.  i gUess i CAn lIvE wItH tHat.

Death by Dishwasher

I would like to argue the point of how to properly load the utensils in a dishwasher.  Consumer Reports states that utensils should be loaded handles down with knives facing downward.  I would disagree.  First those pesky forks can be a pain when reaching down to unload the silverware.  But more importantly in this day and age with swine flu and most germs being spread through contact with the hands.  One of the biggest medical breakthroughs of modern science was for doctors to wash their hands.  This simple task alone reduced deaths and disease.

On another note there was an episode of Lost where Sayid went to get Hurley and there were some bad guys and Sayid kills one of the guys by throwing him on an open dishwasher loaded with knives all facing up. I read in another blog who the hell puts knives face up in a dishwasher?  I want to pose the question who puts any silverware in a dishwasher without the handles facing up?

My Time is Play'n Tricks on Me

When I was a youngster first learning about clocks and the concept of time it was never really important until things were a little off.  My first experience was when I was spending a week at my cousin's house.  They always had their clocks 10 minutes fast.  None of this really mattered until it was time to watch a favorite cartoon Speedracer, Speed Buggy or any other show that reflected moving faster than necessary.  So with chocolate milk in hand and ready for my show something was wrong.  Why was Josie and the Pussycats on and not Speedracer.  This was in a time before TV had an Guide and displayed the time down in the corner.  Actually my cousins were one of the first towns to get HBO and MTV.  This was all breakthrough stuff back then.  Well it took about 3 days to realize that their clocks were set 10 minutes fast and what I was watching was the final third of the previous show.  So using deductive thinking I programmed my inner clock to adjust and set my TV schedule 10 minutes later to compensate for the change.  I guess the question is once you know your clocks are off by 10 minutes, don't you automatically adjust for that time difference?

In my bedroom I have a big digital clock which is set 10 minutes fast.  This is the situation that prompted me to write about this concept of time.  Knowing that the clock is ten minutes ahead of schedule, when my kids get me up at 6:00 am which isn't that bad even though it is still dark outside, I become angered inside realizing that it really  isn't 6:00 am, but it's 5:50 am.  This is way too early to get up.  I think I would be happier having the clock set at the right time.  Or if you do advance your clock, pick a number that you can't remember like 3 minutes or 7 minutes.  Then you know it is fast, but not really sure by how much.  Does anyone ever set their clocks to run slow?  What would be the purpose to have your clocks running slow?  What benefit would this offer?  I guess if you are a procrastinator it would get you going in a real hurry.  For one thing you would be late to begin with, but now you know you are really behind because your clock is slow.

Day Light Savings or Wasting Time

When you are single or don't have kids daylight savings time is great in the Fall and not so great in the Spring.  In the fall you get that extra hour of sleep, because the clocks move backwards.  In the Spring we spring ahead and lose an our.

When you have kids this all changes and the circumstances are reversed.  Kids get you up early in the morning.  So in the fall when they wake you up at 6:00 am it is now 5:00 am.  This is murder.  In the Spring when they get you up at 6:00 am it is 7:00 am.

Some might argue you are losing quality time with your children, and I will argue the only thing you are losing is sleep.

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

Roller Booger

Recently I took my kids to the roller skating rink.  Nothing has changed since my first experience almost 30 years ago.  There is no new technology or groundbreaking discoveries that have revolutionized the roller skating experience.  It has always been the same thing a bunch of angst teen of all ages going around in a circle with wheels on their feet.  Back in the day it was kids with big hairbrushes in their back pockets, who could skate backwards or forwards.  Every now and then they turn the lights out with the disco ball effect for some slow music.  The snack bar still serves the same crappy pizza and the arcade still has the same games.

That is the great thing about roller skating rinks.  It wasn't about anything more than being a teenager and the experience of going.  My first experience was when I was in 6th grade and I hooked up with an 8th grader.  She was a promiscuous girl who had been around the rink (and the block).  It brought me my first French Kiss.   I remember the lights being out and her asking me genitalia questions that I had no way knowing what to say.  So I went with over exaggeration, which seemed to work.

The roller rink is also a place that brought together kids from different schools and zipcodes.  Basically it was the Facebook/Craigslist of the 70s & 80s.

It also brought great 80 style movies focused around roller skating.  Like the cult hit Roller Boogie starring Linda Blair, same actress which threw up on the priest in the Excorsist.

Roller skating was a place that didn't need gimmicks and special effects to draw a crowd.  You didn't even have to be good at.  You just had to show up.  The real appeal to roller skating was bringing kids from all walks of life to a world that goes around and around and around, even if it is only for one night.

Other Places To Catch Swine Flu.

Have you noticed a lot of fast food restaurants now have change dispensers.  This really seems like a swine flu trap since every individual who patrons the establishment will eventually touch the dispenser.  There is a sign in the bathroom that says employees must wash hands before returning to their stations. This should also go for the change dispenser as well. 

Swine Flu Trap

Burkas are like tinted windows

Burkas are like tinted windows for people.

Never wave at people driving cars with tinted windows, because they don't want to be seen.