Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere (The Onion)

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Cat Boxing Video

Cat Boxing - Watch more Funny Videos

Before Avatar, There was Butt Bongo Fiesta

Back in 1992 Howard Stern released on VHS Butt Bongo Fiesta.  The video consisted of female butt cheeks getting bongoed.  There was a tribute to vagina, Jessica Hahn and the elephant trunk and much more.

One segment featured on this hilarious romp stomp was 3D jungleman featuring Baba boey.  A human ape who ate his own booger.  So 18 years before Avatar, Stern was ahead of the curve with what the public wanted to see.

Who is entertained by this?

Old Roommates Gone Wild

Pair charged with illegal deer hunting

Men allegedly used spotlight just before season opened

By E.B. FURGURSON III, Staff Writer

Published 12/07/09

Maryland Natural Resources Police charged two men last month with using a spotlight to hunt deer and numerous other charges in Bowie Maryland.

Police charged Mark Wallace and Sean Birckhead with poaching on Nov. 22.

Police responded to a complaint of illegal hunting on property adjacent to Bay Sox Field in Bowie at 9:20 p.m.  The call was placed by the cleaning crew of the Bay Sox facilities when they saw a light shinning in the woods and then heard a shot.  The officers located Mr. Wallace & Mr. Birckhead in the woods riding an all-terrain vehicle with a freshly killed eight-point, whitetail buck.  When the officers started questioning the pair Mr. Wallace started shouting I am a farmer and I am entitled to do whatever I want on my property.  He was becoming very unruly and a 10-33 call went out (officer needs assistance), resulting in county and state police responding.  Two P.G. County and one state police vehicle immediately responded along with air support.  Even with the overwhelming police force, Mr. Wallace was still acting like a possessed man.  The county officer finally tazered Mr. Wallace, the officers then handcuffed and shackled his legs. 

An investigation revealed that Mr. Wallace & Mr. Birckhead apparently used a spotlight and a 12-gauge shotgun to shoot the deer.  Both men were charged with casting the rays of artificial light with an implement capable of killing a deer in possession, possession of deer during closed season, hunting deer on Sunday, and hunting-pursuing wildlife with an off-road vehicle. Additionally Mr. Wallace was transported and incarcerated upon suspicion of alcohol & drug related charges.  Further charges pending against Mr. Wallace, the shotgun, spotlight, a flashlight, ATV and Mr. Wallace’s truck, knife, empty pistol holster, Alaskan Beaver Hat and the deer were confiscated.

The cleaning crew, who wouldn’t identify themselves with this reporter, said that boy is certainly one sick puppy.  He acted like a hillbilly from Appalachia, on the other hand, they said the other guy just looked drunk and kept his mouth shut.

The charges came just days before the Nov. 28 opening of the firearms season for deer. From now until Dec. 12, and again on two days in January, hunters will be out en masse trying to bag their 12-deer limit: 10 antlerless and two antlered whitetails.

"The two-week deer firearm season is the main event for many Maryland hunters," said Brian Eyler, DNR's deer project leader. "Deer hunters look forward to sharing time with family and friends in the woods and having venison on the table."

Deer hunting has waned in Anne Arundel and other areas of the state over the years as access to open land has dwindled amid ever-expanding suburbia. The proximity of possible hunting grounds to residential areas led the DNR to outlaw high-powered rifles in many counties, including Anne Arundel and Queen Anne's.

Hunters are limited to using shotguns during firearm season, presumably because of the limited range of a shotgun blast as opposed to a rifle. But advances in technology have increased the wallop of a shotgun. Rifle slugs and barrels are now available for hunters to attach to shotguns.

The whitetail was nearly hunted into oblivion as the state's population grew and its habitat was destroyed. A concerted effort to boost the deer population back in the beginning of the last century banned deer hunting until the early 1930s. The first year hunting was reinstated there were 32 deer taken.

Last season 100,437 deer were taken, a little more than half of them in the two-week firearm season.

There are other opportunities for deer hunters, among them bow-hunting and muzzleloader seasons.

Overall, hunters reported taking 8,232 antlered and 16,152 antlerless deer so far this year, the agency reported.

"We are very satisfied to see hunters taking nearly twice as many antlerless as antlered deer," said Pete Jayne, DNR associate director for game management. "Harvesting antlerless deer is a critical part of our deer management plan."

Maryland Gazette Rick Hutzell and Staff Writer E.B. Furgurson III contributed to this story.

Friday the 13th (1 Year)

The San Francisco Treat

In addition to a thriving Gay Community the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz Prison, San Francisco is well known for another great invention;  Rice Roni.  Rice Roni is the greatest rice on the face of the Earth.  I never realized it was called Rice Roni.  I always thought it was  Rice A Roni. We always put the words together to create one word.   Anyway chicken flavor is delicious as well as beef and long wild grain flavored.  Today you can cook it in the microwave and the flavor is no different.

Wouldn't it be great if they came up with Gourmet Rice Roni that was a complete meal.

• Salmon & Asparagus Rice Roni. 
• Steak Diane with roasted potatos
• Pizza Rice Roni
• Italian Sub Rice Roni

For Dessert you could have

• Cheese Cake Rice Roni
• Cannoli Rice Roni
• Hot Fudge Sundae Rice Roni
• Chocolate Ganache Rice Roni

Remember when batteries used leak?

Remember growing up and those old leaky batteries.  Today I never see any leaky batteries.  How harmful was the battery acid of the past.  Should I have any health concerns or longterm side effects from being exposed to deadly D batteries to power my Panasonic Boom Box?

#1 Places to go #2

Finding a decent place to use the restroom when away from home can be a difficult task.  The following is a list of great places when nature calls.

• Barnes & Noble
• Borders
• Nordstrom
• Giant Food
• Safeway
• Exxon/Mobil On the Go
• Sheetz

The secret is the deeper you have to travel into a store the better the facility.

The Vigilante

No Strings Attached

Did you know that shoe stores don't sell shoe strings?